Planning Effective Consequences

The purpose of using a consequence is to teach, not to punish.

Choose an appropriate consequence. If possible, it should be related to the misbehavior. Some consequences happen naturally, such as missing a fun activity after dawdling too long.

Give one warning. For example, "I asked you to take that toy off the floor. Do it now or I will put it away for the day."

Follow through. Don't give your child chance after chance to comply. Show that you are serious.

Use rewards. Give significantly more positive than negative feedback. Compliment your child for doing well.

Children Want Attention

Parenting tip: Children want the attention of their parents and other adults they love. They will behave in the ways that gain them the most attention. So when your child is behaving the way you want him/her to, be sure to give them lots of attention. Here are some ways to do this:

Notice his/her efforts. "You already have your coat on, (dressed for school). How helpful!"

Reward good behavior by spending extra time."You were quiet while Mommy talked on the telephone. Now that I´m free, let´s read your favorite book or play a game."

Put his/her actions into words, "You shared your truck, (took turns playing the video game) with Eric, I bet that made him feel great."

Thank him/her for picking up toys or clothing in room.

Many times we neglect to give positive praise because we feel that the child is just doing what they should be doing, but praise and recognition encourages a child to continue the good behavior. If he/she gets more attention for negative choices, the negative choices will continue. So think about emphasizing the positive!